Uber Rivet Bitches. You know what I am talking about. Those tall, beautiful, extremely slender girls at the club, that you KNOW were Uber Goth Bitches about six months ago. This is the kit add-on that will help you become an Uber Rivet Bitch.
As mentioned above, it is a pre-requisite to be an Uber Goth Bitch. If you are not already a Goth Queen, please purchase an Insta Goth Kit, and come back here in six months.
- Uber Extensions: Go for the Hi-Tech look with neon green hair down to your ass! Usually adorned
with ribbons and bows, left over from the extreme femininity of their Goth days.
- Knee High Boots: Extremely oversized platform boots that strongly
resemble cement blocks. Extra points for buckles, chains, spikes, stompiness.
- A short skirt. That’s right. Show off those legs.
- Industrial Baby Doll T: Choose from the following: Wumpscut (Eevil Young Girlie), Funker Vogt, Apoptygma Berzerk, VNV Nation
Now, many of you gearwhores out there are thinking “WTF? All about BDU’s cut off below the knee, a grubbyÂ tank top, and hair strapped back and/or shaved off”. Now, we aren’t talking about c0re gearwhores that wouldÂ beat Rudy Ratzinger down in the street to get their hands on the Imminent Starvation Tupperware box set, but those “too pretty to be a rivethead” snots that stand around and annoy you when they rush out to danceÂ to Icon of Crap (I mean, Coil). Anyways, those ridiculous platform shoes that the rivetbitches wear just makes them easier to push over and kick with our steel toed boots on the dance floor. AHAHAHAH
Attitude: Make sure you have a slight “I’m better AND prettier than you!” scowl/sneer on your pointy, pale little face. Project a “Don’t approach me because I am more industrial than you” look. Also make sure that you have an elitist attitude towards your music. Your favorite bands are Wumpscut and Project Pitchfork. If someone asks you about a band you never heard of (which will probably be often), just crinkle up that cute little nose of yours and go “Their stuff is OK…I had a few of their albums, but I sold them.”
Music: Your favorite label is the Metropolis label. Thank god for cheap domestic releases of Evil’s Toy! When someone startsÂ trying to ask you about your favorite ant-zen or Hymen band, just raise your eyebrows and say “Those noize bands all sound the same. Talentless hacksÂ just stand there and fiddle knobs during a concert, and they expect me to pay money to listen to something that soundsÂ like my air conditioner unit? I don’t /think/ so!”. Be careful, as some hard core noizheads might just figure that you are worthÂ beating down right then and there. Dis Imminent Starvation near me and I will hurt you (or give you a dirty look. Have you figured outÂ what one of my favorite bands are yet?? LOL)
Dancing: Rivetbitches do not stomp. Nor do they flail out their arms. Next time you are at the club, take the time to watch one ofÂ the local Uber Rivetbitches dancing. They can be found on the stage/cage/cube (depending on club) during a VNV Nation song, showing off tummyÂ and doing some odd slinky sexy dance that is a result of their former days as a Goth. There was a rivetbitch on either side of me while I was dancing at DefConÂ a few weekends ago (which inspired this page), and it is just ridiculous. Rivetbitches have the ability to make a gearwhore feelÂ all self conscious about themselves.
Mintie sent in more detailed information on the Rivetbitch Skanky Dance:
Rivetbitches dance to snare their prey. Navels mostÂ likely are showing and cleavage is at maximumÂ exposure. Skirts are short but not trashy shortÂ [rivetbitches are not trash, they are sexy], andÂ garters have as many straps as you can comfortablyÂ work with. The key [in all things] is to remindÂ unsuspecting rivetboys of sex. Thus throwing them intoÂ the internal conflict of “if I try to kiss her, willÂ she kick my ass?”
All of the components are used in conjunction withÂ each other. It is noted in the descriptions whichÂ combinations are acceptable.
**disclaimer. this dance combo cannot be used by any
gear whore who thinks she can be a rivet bitch. it is
a highly potent prescription and should only be used
by a professional**
Mostly used during the melodic sections of songs orÂ the quiet breaks in songs. Also can be used to lend aÂ “breather” in the middle of songs. Comes in very handyÂ for position changes.
Feet firmly planted, no more than shoulder widthÂ apart, hips swaying dramatically but smoothly, side toÂ side in time with one of the musical properties [i.e.Â drums, synth, words]. Occasionally, lean back, throwÂ hips and one foot forward. pivot to change dancefloorÂ perspective.
Combine with Arms I or II.
This is the aerobic component of the combo. FeetÂ firmly planted. Arm combo as desired. ShouldersÂ squared and facing the ground. Upper body moves withÂ the music as feet stay in the same position. EveryÂ once in a while bend at the waist, and sneer at theÂ ground. Additionally, occasionally kick one leg up.
[apparently this is a Chicago thing]
Combine with Arms II or III.
This move vaguely mimics taking your shirt off. WrapÂ arms around your waist [hands should not extendÂ further than the sides of your waist] arms crossed inÂ front of you. Slowly bring arms up, uncrossing themÂ until your fingers are entwined over your head. [thisÂ is a good time for a pivot]
Bring wrists together behind your back. very effectiveÂ when wearing bondage cuffs.
From shoulder to fingertips, fling one or more arm asÂ if you are trying to fling something off the end yourÂ hand. Should most definitely be in time with theÂ predominant beat of the song. [Best when done fromÂ back to front of the body and one arm is preferable.]
Another user submitted this observation:
“The (faux) Lesbian for a Reaction Dance: Do the standardÂ Rivetbitch dances, of cource including Arms IIIÂ (flicking a booger off your hand). Move to the otherÂ side of the stage and dance with the other girl(s),Â dancing as close as possible rubbing each others handsÂ up and down one another’s legs, grab each other boobs,Â and if one is wearing a shirt lift it up andÂ grab&squeeze. And don’t forget to act as if you mayÂ at any time break down and make out with eachother,
for the “anticipation” of the crowd(being the guys),Â but of course you never do it because your not aÂ lesbo…your only a lesbian for reaction.”
Elitism: Hang out with THE hottest rivetboi in the clubs, but don’t ever do anything to let anyone know whether or not you are dating.Â That way, more girls will be envious of you, because you get his attention, but they can’t determine if you are together or not, thereby makingÂ you and the rivetboi even MORE unapproachable! Let them throw envious looks in your direction, and perhaps pettily gossip, but nothing more. Oh , the power, the power!Â God, I hate the club scene.
What else should be included in the rivetbitch section? With the rise of girls in the industrial scene, thereÂ are bound to be more stereotypes popping up.
Thanks to *Maschina*
We miss anything? If so, post but let us know your location, too, so we know if it’s regional!