Rivethead Haiku

Now I’m sure that your first reaction to this title is “Industrial poetry?!! Poetry isn’t industrial!!! Poetry is for whiney mamby pamby goths!!” This is partly true. You see, mopey sentimental crap poetry is for goths. What you have to remember however, is that not all rivetheads are stupid, although quite a few are. Keeping in mind that it is imperative to imtimidate, you must realize that it can be done both phsysically and mentally.

So here’s the hypothetical situation:
You’re standing around outside a club, probably sweaty from dancing to Wumpscut and maybe splattered with the blood of someone foolish enough to get in your way. You happen to overhear a group of pasty faced goth fags talking about “Stupid rivetheads not being able to find their way out of a paper bag without obliterating it” You partly agree with them; I mean, if someone was stupid enough to put YOU in a paper bag of course you’re going to destroy it and then proceed to beat the living shit out of the person in question. However, you really don’t want to be lumped into the same group as the rivethead in the corner who is in sweat and God knows what else, rocking back and forth and mumbling “I must, I must, I must increase my rust!” over and over again spitting froth everywhere.

So you walk over to the group forcing a semi friendly smile on your face.
“I couldn’t help but overhear what you were saying about rivetheads”

At this point chances are the goths are frozen with fear expecting a thorough beating. Instead of giving them what they deserve, smile and say

“So, I’d like to prove you wrong. Here’s a few haiku’s that you’ve all inspired me to create.”

Haiku’s dedicated to goths

Dedication to

wear all of this makeup? No!

I am just quite ugly!

Corsets are classy

I am not trying to hide

my grotesque fat rolls.

Smile at them and then walk away. You’ve left them with the impression
that not only do you think they’re fat and ugly, which they probably are,
but that you’re at least mildly intelligent and wouldn’t hesitate to kick the
living shit out of them. Of course the next time you hear that group talking
shit that’s exactly what you’ll do, isn’t it?

Post a haiku below!

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