What does goth mean? It’s all in the attitude. There is a reason why Goths wear all black. The color black has much significance in American and Western European culture.
Here are some of the meanings that black has in our society:
- Mourning/Death
- Outcast from Society
- Colorblind
- Creature of the Night
- The “bad” guy
- The stuff growing in my fridge
Now how can you effectively carry on the look of a “creature of the night” if you are jumping around, smiling?
The “How to have a gothic persona and efficiently manage angst” booklet is included in the Insta-Goth Kit!
This will provide you with many ways to appear “gothic” in nature, including many wicked and fun ways to include angst into your daily life!
This includes:
- How to lurk in graveyards
- What to doodle on your notebook at school
- An effective diet plan to create that waif/corpse-like look
- Murderous intentions to harbor towards the evil “normals” that will persecute you.
- Listening to any of the first three NIN albums repeatedly, and how to apply the lyrics to your daily life.
- Covering all your windows in aluminum foil, thereby blocking out all sunlight and causing your parents to become concerned!
In order to prove that you are a goth, you must learn to analyze and criticize all others that look remotely gothic and/or industrial. (Warning: Rivetheads are more prone to violence. Criticize when they are out of ear shot, although all that Wumpscut has probably made them deaf).
A list of things to look for and criticize:
- Clothing: Is it black enough? Do their blacks match? Response: Scoff
- Shoes: Are the soles thick enough? Are they big enough and black enough? How pointy are those tips? Response: Scoff
- Hair: Is it big enough? Can you count more than two colors? Do they have the “Betty Page” Bangs? Response: Scoff (and be jealous)
- Accessories: How many bangle bracelets do they have? How nice is their coffin purse? Is their choker vinyl or leather?
- Response: Run up, hit them on the head with your metal lunchbox, and snatch what you can! (We are not responsible for whatever legal trouble or bite marks you get into)
*helpful hint* Get prescribed some antidepressants. How else could you prove that you are full of Gothic angst?
Remember, you are now better than all the normal people who merely wish to persecute you, and you must suffer for being beautiful now. One cannot don the black cloth and still associate with daylight society. Think of your new-found angst as a wall, blocking you off from those that just don’t understand!
