What types of movies preps like? What is it that they do for fun? How can the Insta Prep Kit assist you in total mainstream incorporation?
I mean, we ARE talking about the vast majority of the population here. THESE are the people responsible for why shitty music is on the radio, why crappy movies do so well, while the good ones die miserably, why the majority of the clothing is so bland and unoffensive.
Television – How would a prep know what the latest in fashion would be without television? TV tells us how to act, what the “cool” things to say are, and what to purchase. I love mass media. It creates the masses!
- Pretty Little Liars
- Any tacky reality show on a major network channel
- American Idol
- Ellen (OK I kind of like Ellen..)
Party Games – Preps like to congregate into crowds. Once this occurs, let the mating rituals begin!
- Suck and Blow
- Spin The Bottle
- Truth or Dare
- Pair Up and Pucker Up
Friday Night Activities – Note that all of these activities involve going out into the public. Public scares me. Germs scare me. Preps in large groups at the movie theatre I am in scares me.
- Youth Groups – invade and try to turn it eeeevil.
- Varsity Sporting Event – watch jocks’ parents get drunk
- Bowling – Yes, it’s OK to put a ‘bad word’ as your name on the monitor.
- Bonfires – complete with bad music and Abercrombie sweaters
- Watching Movies with Mom and Dad – Go late to an opening night show. Then you won’t have to sit near them.
- Actual Shopping at the mall – Major mainstream chains. How commercialistic can it get?
- McDonald’s Parking Lots – The Preps tend to congregate around their car (either an SUV or Volkswagon) and feel cool while slurping on a coke.
- Emtpy house – no parents home? Time to get wasted, prep style!
- Dave Mathews Lyrical Dissection – Avoid brain melting.
Literature – For the girls, the Insta Prep offers a subscription to the following magazines that will educate you in the latest of mainstream events. Make sure to pay extra attention to the advertisements, and for extra bonus points, cut out the pictures of the boys you find attractive, and draw over them to make them more “alternative” (IE: Making Justin Bieber look Gothic with a black marker):
- Teen Vogue
- Seventeen magazine
- Girly website of Choice
- Twilight Book Series (will immediately destroy brain cells)
It has been a long time since I have seen these creatures in the wild, close enough to hear them talk. Although I am very happy of that fact, I must admit, it has made my criticisms weak, and perhaps, out of date.