OK. Now see here. NO attitude. No spitting, no swearing, no sulking, no skulking, no shoes, no shirt, no service. Got it? No? Dirty looks are OK, as is glaring at them when they turn around.

Insta Prep KitYour defiant attitude will get you nowhere during family dinners or basic social interaction. Well, it might get you somewhere, but not where the average prep goes. Be courteous. Pass the potatoes when asked. DO NOT throw or spit in the potatoes, even if you are handing them over to (insert one or both of your parents here) who you despise because they won’t let you wear that Marilyn Manson shirt to school.

If attempting to fit in with the male prep crowd, make sure that you can blandly whip out ‘yo mama’ jokes while hanging with your “homies” in the hallway before the bell rings.

If a female prep, make plans to attend the football game that Friday, where interaction with the male preppies can proceed. Be careful. Regardless of subcultures, boys are boys, and they WILL try to get with you. Male preps are the MOST dangerous, since they have the least amount of plumage and bad boy imagery to seduce the girls with. Therefore, they reduce to roofies, alcohol, or tickets to generic popular music concerts.

Here is some prep vernacular that you can sling at people

  • Insta Prep Kit“Everyone’s doing it” – How preps manage to breed with other mindless preps
  • “Can you give me the 411 on that?” – The way to find out more info on these strange (yet what is “normal” to most people) activities.
  • “____ makes you cool” – Peer pressure. Classic prep behavior.
  • With the foothold that rap music has made into upper middle class white suburbia, all the preps (especially males) have learned to pepper their vocabulary with ‘bitch’ and ‘ho’.
  • YOLO – “You Only Live Once” (so why are they listening to such shitty music?)

Example of above: “Hey, get Adidas sneakers. Everyone’s doing it and if you don’t have them by next week, you won’t be cool.”

(GOD forbid I won’t be COOL!)

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