Speed Happy Ravers

Speed Happy RaversAs a Raver, you will now have a whole different attitude on life. You and your friends can now act like a bunch of speed happy ravers.

You feel that all people should be respected and treated as equals. Life can be so colorful and free if you are on enough drugs! You want to bounce around and be perky, cute and smear glitter freely!

You wish that the scary looking rivetheads won’t kick your ass! Walk with a bounce, be very energetic. You love color, you love life! You want to express living life to the fullest!

You want lots of converts to join you in your ecstasy and drums ‘n’ bass raves! Express how much more fun it is to be a Raver than a mopey Goth or angry Rivethead or Punk. YOUR subculture is the one of choice!

You must convert more speed happy ravers! Read up on cults and how they operate, this might help with your mission! Ravers don’t need to be the most educated people around, so don’t worry too much about school. As long as you smile and act cute, everyone will love you!

Raver AttitudeYou are now part of the loved subculture, the one that doesn’t scare people! Use this to your advantage.

The Ford Focus is an example of a ‘raver mobile’. Note the pseudo futuristic shape, the “raver oriented” advertising, and the perky attitude of the car. Any raver worth his or her salt will scuttle out and purchase one of these bad boys, perfect for shuttling friends around from rave to rave. But here is the real question: Is there enough head room in the Focus for those cowboy hats?

Carry the provided pot of glitter around and “tag” territory with it. No one will get angry with your graffiti, for it is now your belief that the world should exist in a happy, glittery state! Whenever people ask you questions you don’t know, give a big smile and offer glitter. They will figure that your brain is so fried from drugs, that it doesn’t matter if you know the answer! Make sure you figure out how to dance right. Pretend you are a glitter fairy, floating around, twirling around, to the sound of a constant beat.

Be careful not to trip on your over-sized pants or to smack into a wall. This will be seen as very ‘uncool’ by fellow ravers.


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