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Vampires. You see them in all your favorite movies, from "Bram Stoker's Dracula" to
"Interview with a Vampire". They are eternally beautiful, creatures of the night, donned in their dark
clothing and forced into an age long mourning process. In other words, they are the exemplifications
of ultra goths!
The Insta Goth Kit will provide you with a pair of fangs that will fit right over your incisors (or your two front teeth, if you wish to be
a Bunnicula of sorts. I love Bunnicula!)
You must go out and feed upon the warm blood of the living. Since nibbling on humans can lead to lawsuits,
we here at the Insta Goth Kit recommend creatures that people won't care about as much. Biting a cat will get you
rejected from the Gothic subculture, since most Goths like their cats more than people. (Cats aren't as judgemental,
and love to shed on their black clothing.)
Therefore, the recommended creature is a rat. Rats are nasty little critters that no one cares about,
and contain just enough blood to clear that acne off your skin. Ah, the healing blood of mammals!
Don't be offended by starting off small with rats. Remember, in "Interview with a Vampire", Brad Pitt's
character had to start off with rats and cats and doggies. In a few decades, you will be able to move up to
larger animals, like horses and cows (vampyre bats drink from cows!). An in a few centuries, you will be
ready for Human Blood! So do not despair!
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